Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
