why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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