There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
