she was so not down for the gang bang
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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