Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
