just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
