So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
