I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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