Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
