Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I forget how to act sober
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
