You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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