Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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