Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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