And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So vagazzling was a success
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
