I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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