I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
