I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
