Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
