You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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