Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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