i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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