Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
did i just pee glitter
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
