WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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