I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
