So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
