thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just made out with a guy for $7.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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