Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I need to align my fucking chakras
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
