Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
