The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
