if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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