Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
