Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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