I love black thongs
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
