I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
