so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
