Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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