Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
