Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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