It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
