Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
