Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
