I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
