fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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