You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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