Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
