Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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