So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
