i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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