Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
