Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
