I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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