so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm sobbing to NWA
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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