I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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