Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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