Its about making memories worth repressing
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize