I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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