fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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